So: To kick off our new Facebook page (please “like” us! this whole thing is mortifying!), we’re having a contest!
Now: Nobody’s going to call me a gourmand. I’m lucky when people call me a person capable of preparing a meal suitable for an adult human. I make two kinds of food: popcorn (ON THE STOVE, THOUGH) and … things that are made poorly. For example! I just had a sandwich, but it was on this weird kind of unbelievably dense bread, and the bread (brand new!) kept crumbling, so I’m sitting on my couch with this crumbling sandwich in my hand, just sort of gnawing at this mound of weird bread, salmon, avocado, and pumpkin seeds. It’s not that I eat unhealthy or unhealthy foods; it’s that I literally eat whatever’s put in front of me. I’m the kind of person who literally—literally—doesn’t understand when other people Instagram their food. At one point last month I realized it was sort of the same thing as Instagramming pictures of flowers. That, I understand. I—again, literally—said to one of my food-loving friends: “Oh, so ‘food porn’ is like ‘garden porn’!” He looked at me like I was an insane garden person. Well, that I can get behind.
Anyway! So I am the last person who should be taking pictures of food. (In fact, my friend K. said about this picture above, which sums up basically everything on Earth: “I think they are pretty, but not super appetizing, as it were. You know? Like more art than food.”) However, I do really love the idea of regional foods (even though I would be happiest just dragging a bag of my own popcorn behind, and maybe a box of chocolate PopTarts). So this is the contest: I’m calling it #whereimsnacking. (Ha! Hashtags!) But you never learn anything if you don’t start, right? I honestly feel like one of the total fallacies of “maturing,” if you will, is this new reluctance to try anything new. I mean, haven’t we all seen this yet? I’m a beginner. I’m going with it.
There are six foods in the photo above. The way to win is to name the place where I ate them all. Anyone who knows me knows where I was, like, two weeks ago, so ties will be decided by the amount of specificity. A winning entry should say:
CITY: [Fill in]
LOL. Going in two rows, left to right, I can admit that #1 and #3 are the same thing. I feel like nobody’s going to get #4 (the stuff on top of the stuff) and I’m just going to say right now that #5 is a strawberry and vanilla bonbon. I AM TERRIBLE AT RUNNING CONTESTS.
HOWEVER!! The prizes are awesome! Play along and you can win: one very very very awesome tote bag that I cannot show because it has the name of the place on it (definitely need to rethink that particular strategy), and some very very very awesome notecards from a very very very awesome designer from this city. And obviously I cannot name her until the contest has been decided. I need to think of better ways to have contests, but you see what I’m going for, I hope.
Honestly I’ve made this so complicated that nobody’s going to enter. SO PLEASE ENTER!! EMAIL ME HERE!
[AND LIKE OUR NEW FACEBOOK PAGE I PROMISE I WILL LIKE NEVER UPDATE IT BUT IT WILL ALSO BE AWESOME.]